In Pieces
by baywinger
Summary: A glimpse of Josef's past.


It never occured to me to publish my short stories before...

This is a Josef historical. It was written in response to a challenge on a ML fan site, and credit goes to "Francis" for the opening paragraph. (I think, anyway.) The challenge was to write a short story to fit the title (Picking up the Pieces)--which I changed and beginning with the first paragraph. The results were wonderful from all the different authors.

Sadly, Josef isn't mine. However, I lay claim to the story.

* * *

In Pieces

She ran out of reasons to stay inside. It was way too early but she couldn't contain her excitement anymore. Putting a stray strand of hair back into its clasp, she pushed the doors to the garden open and carefully stepped barefoot over the rough tiles of the patio.

Today was the day that her big brother was going to finally teach her how to fly his falcon. Their father had expressly forbidden she learn, citing that nothing in their mews was appropriate for a lady. "As if I could ever live up to his standards regardless of how I try, anyway!" A tiny thrill of fear tickled her spine, and she tugged at the hem of her borrowed tunic. She felt entirely too exposed in her brother's cast off breeches, but he'd insisted that she wear something that wouldn't get caught up in the brambles. If their father caught them in this adventure, she would be trapped in her mother's work-room until spring and Josef would be scrubbing the dairy's floor until it was time for him to go to University.

At the very edge of the patio, she sat, awkward without the burden of skirts, and began to pull on Josef's old riding boots. Another thing he'd insisted upon, kindly teasing, "Carina, do you really want to ruin another pair of slippers? Mama will geld me if she has to buy you new shoes."

She'd huffed right back at him, "But how will she know it was your fault, Josef? Your boots are too big for me."

He smiled down at her, "She always knows, Cari. And I think these will fit you well enough."

"And he's right, as always." The scuffed boots slid up her slim calves as if made for her. She wiggled her toes, annoyed at Josef's perfect guess at her size. "Why on Earth and Heaven did he save these?"

"Because I knew someday my hoyden of a baby sister would need them."

Carina squeaked in undignified surprise and jumped to her feet, quickly losing her balance. Her brother grabbed her elbows in time to save her from tumbling into the freshly watered herb bed with a laugh, "I don't know if I should take you after all, Cari. You nearly take a fright safe here in the garden, what will you do when Kell stoops over your shoulder at a partridge?"

Carina shook his hands from her arms, "At least I would have heard her bells, and known she was coming."

Josef smiled impishly, "Come on, complainer. Kell's ready to fly, even if you aren't."

* * *

Carina flexed her knees, leaning against the copper shoulder of her brother's hunter. Stiff from stretching across the big horse's hips for even such a short ride, she frowned at Josef as he sorted through the variety of hawking equipment he was pulling from the saddle bags. "I still don't understand why I couldn't have just ridden Bella."

He glanced sideways at her as he slipped a lure into his hawking bag, "And Bella would stand for being tied next to Thom without you for hours? She'd fret herself to colic. Here. Put this on."

Carina took the gauntlet he held out to her with poor grace. "She would not. Just because she's a little hot..."

"A little? I don't think she ever sets all four hooves on the ground at the same time." Josef shook his head and stuffed a squashy packet of meat into his bag.

"And can outrun every horse in the stable, doesn't mean she can't stand quietly." Carina finished her thought with a sniff.

"Peace." Josef smiled, "Tam, here pup." The blue-flecked white dog trotted obediently to heel from where he'd been nosing at the base of some willow saplings by the small creek they'd stopped at. "You are probably right, but by leaving her, it will turn Father from our trail. He'd never expect you to ride Thom double with me." He reached up to where Kell perched on the saddle bow. He pressed his gloved hand to the back of the hooded falcon's legs and the big bird stepped back onto his fist.

"So, you know that when they can't see, it's easier for them if you ask them to step backwards, right?" Josef gently ran his fingers down the salmon-tinted chest of the falcon, as she bent her head and nibbled his bare fingers.

Carina nodded, eyes wide in anticipation.

He smiled at her silence, "And you can feel if they are sharp enough to hunt here." He reached out and grabbed her wrist, guiding her fingers across the bird's well-muscled chest. The ridge of her keel was prominent, but covered in hard flesh. "Of course, you can't really know until you let her go, but that's all part of the thrill." He let Carina's hand go, "So, let's go find out! Find the birds, Tam. Go on!"

The big setter dashed off ahead of them and Carina forced her legs to stretch to keep up with her brother's long stride. Kell flipped a wing to catch her balance, and Carina hissed at Josef, "A care for your bird, brother, even I know you shouldn't upset her."

He laughed at her, "Then maybe you should carry her." He stopped, "Go on. If you know how to do it better than me."

Carina froze, "But..."

"You wanted to go hawking little sister. Carry the bird." He reached out and pulled her gloved hand up, deftly transferring Kell to her wrist and tucking the jesses through her fingers before she could object. "There you go."

Carina held her breath in awe. Kell felt as if she weighed a hundred pounds, and as her arm swayed under the unexpected burden, the falcon adjusted her balance with a squeeze of her talons. Her father's warning echoed in her memory, "The big hawks aren't for a lady, Carina. Kell and Gos would hurt you, and we can't afford to waste time trapping you a merlin just for you to go trailing after your brother."

Carina took a breath and stiffened her arm. The falcon relaxed as her perch steadied, and Carina lifted her chin to Josef, "Well, let's go before Tam gets too far ahead."

Her brother smiled, a bit of admiration glinting in his eyes. "After the falconer."

* * *

The sun was lowering towards the west as Tam froze in front of them. Josef put his hand on her shoulder, "Strike Kell's hood, Cari. If we don't take this slip, it will be too dark for another try."

Carina nodded, and grasped the braces in her free hand and her teeth as Josef had shown her the day before. The bindings pulled smoothly open and Kell stood politely waiting for her to slide the hood from her head. As Carina slipped it off, the big falcon roused in preparation for flight. She spotted Tam crouched in front of her and immediately launched herself into the air, the dog's pose a familiar cue that prey was waiting.

Carina lifted a hand to shield her eyes as the falcon pumped her way above them. There was a hint of urgency in her wing beats, as the sun dipped to touch the horizon. In moments, she was just a black speck above them, and Josef tapped Tam on the hip, "Get it up." The setter jumped forward and a pair of partridge burst from the clump of grass, wings hammering the air.

A weird whistling hum reverberated Carina's bones. She looked over her shoulder as Kell dropped towards the desperate partridge, a lethal teardrop barreling towards the pair of birds. Just before impact, she flared her wings, the crack of her deceleration loud as a carter's whip. A puff of feathers exploded, and Kell flipped up, looking over her shoulder as the partridge crumpled to the ground, dead. The falcon kited down to land on the bird and bent her head to pluck. Down grey feathers floated in the freshening evening breeze.

Josef grinned wolfishly and grabbed Carina by the arm to tow her towards the victorious falcon. Tam was already laying next to Kell, trembling with anticipation at his reward for his part in the successful hunt. "Mama is going to be thrilled to have partridge for dinner, Cari. You did great!" He stepped Kell off the bird and onto his fist to the leg of an old chicken, and held her up to Carina. "Hold her for me while I dress this."

Carina took her with more confidence than earlier, and sat next to Tam. She began to scratch the dog behind the ears as Josef worked. The sun continued to sink slowly behind the hills as the falcon pulled bits of meat from the bone with her wickedly sharp beak. Mesmerized, Carina simply watched Kell eat, the rhythm of the ancient partnership in the beat of Tam's tail on the ground, her brother's knife glinting in the reddish light, and her awe at the depthless brown eyes scanning the horizon after each bite.

Suddenly Kell lifted her head, her feathers slicking down with fear. Carina looked wildly towards Josef who sat frozen staring at something behind her. Tam lifted his head from his paws with a sharp bark, and Kell took off, jerking her jesses from Carina's surprised fingers. The falcon's sharp 'kak kak kak' warning call faded into the dusky evening air as the bird disappeared over the trees.

"F-f-father." Josef stuttered as the familiar silhouette stepped into the clearing, leading Thom, the normally stoic horse blowing nervously at the tight reins pulling at the bit in his mouth.

Carina felt her heart drop to the very soles of her borrowed boots, "Father?"

"Quiet. Take Thom, get home, clean, and properly dressed, and wait in your room."

Obediently, Carina stumbled towards the big horse. "Tam, heel," she whispered, and the big white dog followed her, slinking as they approached the furious man glaring across the clearing. He dropped the reins as she neared and began to stalk towards Josef, still kneeling over the forgotten partridge.

Carina risked a brief glance over her shoulder as she settled into Thom's saddle. Josef's white face, eyes dark with fear, watched her as she reined the big horse towards home. She was grateful Thom knew the way, as tears for her brother blinded her.

* * *

Kell never came home, and their father sold Tam, telling them that he cost too much to feed if there was no falcon to hunt over him. The bruises faded from Josef's face, but not from his eyes. He'd promised her that one day he would be strong enough to give their father what he deserved. She wondered when that day would come.

* * *

Josef left for University. Years passed, Carina married, had the first of six children. Letters came from Josef at first, but he never visited. She lost herself in the constant round of a wife's chores, forgot the wildness that had so briefly touched her life. But every spring falcons played in the sky over the valley.

* * *

One night Carina woke from a dream where she heard her brother's laughter for the first time in forty years. Tucking a strand of grey hair into its clasp, she pushed the door to the garden open and carefully stepped over the rough tiles of the patio. The moon rose over the trees, and he turned towards her, stepping from the shadows.

Josef smiled at her, his dark eyes soft in the moonlight. "Heyla, Cari."

"Am I dreaming?" She moved towards the apparition, her big brother, unchanged by the intervening years.

"Probably." He opened his arms and she allowed herself to be wrapped in his chill embrace.

"Are you happy, little sister?" His lips moved against her hair.

"There's something missing, Josef." She whispered.

"What's that?" He pulled away.

She looked up, "He flew away many years ago."

"Kell was a girl, Cari." Josef's familiar smile curved his lips.

"Not the falcon, Josef." She closed her eyes.

His lips pressed briefly against her forehead, then as a wisp of breeze, he was gone.

Carina opened her eyes, the blur of tears making the moon waver. "Sometimes fear makes us fly away from who we love. Then we are lost, and the pieces can't ever be put together again."

His voice, from beyond the moonlight, "But until you let go, you won't know if the fear or the hunger is stronger."

"It was the fear." She turned from him and back into the warm dark of her bedroom.


End file.
